Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Off the Top of My Head

(Editor's note: My friend, Ace Toscano, asked me to post my thoughts on the state of soccer, today. Following are my responses to his questions.)

Oh, my man! People may not like what I have to say, but, good, maybe it will generate some comments.

Who do you think will win the Olympic Gold Medal for soccer?
Who will win the Gold? Like I have said before, THE TEAM THAT IS LUCKIEST! As long as the coaches promote this ping-pong style of play, anybody can win.

And let's not forget the $$$$$. The teams with more money are stronger - their players will literally roll over their opponents like a speeding train.

Last week they played the final game to see who would be the European champions. In the game between Manchester United and Chelsea, after they played the regular 90 minutes, plus 30 in overtime, the score was still 1-1 on two lucky goals. They then had to go to penalty kicks. Embarrassingly, some of these kicks, which are so easy you can make them with your eyes closed, were missed.

Up here in the National League, competition is so even, there's little difference between the best teams and the lousiest. One coach, talking to reporters after his team lost 5-1, blamed the loss on personnel, formations and offensive shortcomings. Poor excuses! The real cause was lousy coaching. Eventually, he'll get fired but another team will pick him up and as a result of this revolving door policy, the game will continue to stagnate. What they need is a coach like me. As I've told you before, their whole approach to the game is wrong.

You asked what I think about Beckham. It's the Pele fiasco all over again. Sure, he can push the ball a long way into the other team's box, but you know what happens with long balls? right? If you see him taking another guy in a dribble, ALLELUIA!! But, to his credit, he's not beating people at night and getting drunk where the paparazzi can see him. He is a roll model. And, he has the looks (like us, remember Ace?) but he can't play the game. Oh, I almost forgot, he also married a pretty girl. Like us!